A Personal Update

I don’t usually share personal stuff in these writings, but today is an exception. This is going to be a more personal note from me, which I pray may be a help and encouragement to others. It’ll also explain why I’ve not been able to reply to emails and messages over the last couple of weeks.

Instead of enjoying sunny vacation in Noosa last week, I ended up at the emergency department at Monash Hospital. I fell ill more than 2 weeks ago. But instead of shaking off symptoms, they progressively worsened. I won’t bore you with details (frankly, I get bored just rehearsing them in my own head!), so to keep things short, I was unable to do anything other than turn into a permanent plank in bed.

At ED, doctors rushed me in and conducted a series of tests, as they were initially concerned that I had had a stroke. They’ve now discounted that option but they are unable to figure out what’s going on. The Drs have described my presenting issues as ‘severe’, and they’ve loaded me up with drugs, more tests and further investigations. And they’ve warned me that recovery may take several months. While the issues should resolve, there may be long term implications; they simply don’t know.

In short, I have a combination of issues and they don’t all align: extreme vertigo, loss of muscle strength in half my face which means speaking is difficult, and some hearing loss (hopefully temporary), plus more. Over all, the body is behaving much much Blackadder’s ‘asthmatic ant with heavy shopping’! Doctors also discovered a brain aneurysm, but that’s a problem for another day.

Anyway that’s enough background information.

30 years ago I suffered repeated retinal detachments where I lost vision in my eyes, with sight eventually being restored in one eye. So this isn’t the first time I’ve been benched for an extended period. Both then and now, I am experiencing God’s deep and sustaining peace. And like last time, over these last few weeks I have been thanking God and asking God.

Thanking God and Asking God

I’m thanking God for Susan and my 3 children. Susan is smashing it and the kids are super. Their patience and diligence is wonderful and makes things much easier than would otherwise be.

I’m praising God because I know he is sovereign and I’m convinced of his grace and goodness. I praise Him because the Scriptures tell me, ‘we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose’.

What I don’t know right now is the cause of this illness nor the long term outcomes. Neither can I say with precision what God is keen to show and teach me, and that’s ok. Must we always know? Is God’s sovereign care and grace dependent on what I can or cannot grasp? Of course not. Sometimes there isn’t something specific to learn, but through circumstances God is quietly and lovingly nudging us to keep trusting him and looking to him for grace. Nonetheless, I am asking God to use this for his good purposes; after all, suffering is a friend of sanctification.

One question I’m asking my Heavenly Father is to purify and sanctify me. I think of Nebuchadnezzar whomGod humbled for a season and Zechariah whom God struck dumb for a time. The Apostle Paul and Hebrews reminds us of how God uses suffering not to punish but to sanctify us. And so I’m praying God uses this force rest to sanctify and grow me in holiness and to take away any lingering sins in my life.

And I’m praying that God uses these weeks (and maybe months) to encourage the saints at Mentone Baptist Church, such that they are fuelled to love and good deeds. I’m praying that God’s Gospel may do even more to build his kingdom. I’m keen to return to church and hear stories of God’s grace and work and seeing new faces connecting with us at church.

Even as I write (which I assure you is requiring every inch of strength and focus right now), I’m aware that there are members of my church who are suffering significantly more than myself. I think of 2 church members who are currently battling cancer, one whom will likely lose the fight (neither of them are elderly). I am regularly refreshed by the peace and joy they are experiencing in the Lord despite insurmountable sickness. They are a tremendous testimony to the church. When it’s so easy to let small things interfere with our relationship with Christ and stop us from getting to church, these saints have every reason to stay home and yet they come. Praise God!

Anyway, so this is why I’ve been missing in action of late and perhaps for some time to come. I realise many of my readers aren’t Christian (I’m grateful that you’re interested in my regular rambles). If you are a follower of Jesus you might like to pray:

1. That Christ is exalted in everything.

2. For complete healing. I’m rather keen to keep preaching and pastoring for another 20 years, God willing. I assure you, when a preacher is unable to speak let alone stand, it’s not the most comfortable of places. If you wish pray that the Lord heals whatever is going on, for our God is a healing God. Even when he says no, he is still good.

3. Pray for Susan and the family as they make adjustments around me at the moment. I’m sure you can imagine how easy Murray is at home 24/7!

4. Pray for Mentone Baptist Church, ask God that the beauty and power of the gospel becomes even more evident and fruitful among us during this season.

Thanks all